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5 Sneaky Self-Hate Habits You Need To Drop

Updated: Jun 30

Self-love seems like such a simple concept in theory, but when you actively begin to practice it, you notice that it is surprisingly easier to extend love to others than yourself. For example, when your friend is tired, it's easier for you to convince them to go to bed and rest than it is to take a break yourself when you need it.

So even though you promised to love yourself more, there may be some self-hate habits that are very hard to break. Let's talk about five of these habits.

1. Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is a very common self-hate habit. Phrases like "I'm not good enough", "I look terrible," or "I'll never succeed", are all examples of negative self-talk you need to overcome.

Constantly talking down on yourself is the opposite of self-love. It makes you feel inadequate and insecure, leading to low self-esteem. Be kinder to yourself by replacing the critical thoughts in your head with positive affirmations. When you find yourself unconsciously engaging in negative self-talk, counter the negativity immediately with positive ones that promote self-love such as "I am good enough", "I look amazing", and "I am success itself".

Practice saying nice, uplifting, and encouraging things about yourself every day. Learn to focus on your strengths and achievements instead of dwelling on your weaknesses or shortfalls.

It is also important to surround yourself with people who uplift you and make you feel good about yourself. Having close ties with overly critical people can reinforce feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth.

2. Over-Apologizing

Giving a sincere apology when you do something wrong is necessary for maintaining healthy relationships with everyone in your life. It shows that you are remorseful for causing hurt or inconvenience to another person. Furthermore, it demonstrates that you are willing to take accountability for your actions and are willing to make amends.

However, there's a thin line between expressing genuine remorse and excessive or misplaced apologies. When you make a habit of over-apologizing for situations beyond your control, things you didn't do, or simply expressing yourself and your opinions, it can negatively affect your self-worth and confidence. This is because constantly overapologizing inadvertently diminishes your voice and agency, creating feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness within you. It can also undermine the way others view you.

Learning how to strike a balance between taking responsibility for your mistakes and maintaining self-assurance is very important. Before you apologize, think through the situation carefully and honestly communicate your thoughts and emotions.

If you have to apologize, it should be heartfelt but keep it simple. That way, you convey your message effectively without diminishing your own worth and boundaries.

Mindful and intentional communication, self-awareness, and confidence are tools that can help you shed the habit of reflex apologies and overapologizing.

3. Ignoring Personal Boundaries:

Learning to say "no" is an act of self-care and self-love. As a woman, the ability to say "no" to things that may inconvenience, harm, or cross your boundaries is a skill you need to master.

You compromise your well-being and values by consistently saying "yes" to requests or demands that you actually want to say 'no" to. Not only does always pleasing others open the door for you to be taken advantage of, but it can also lead to a buildup of resentment(for doing things that you don't want to do), burnout(from always accepting to help others when you're tired, overbooked or not in the position to help), and a sense of powerlessness.

Don't allow the fear of disappointing others to be at your detriment. Learn to communicate your boundaries assertively and decline requests when necessary without feeling guilty. It may be hard initially(especially with your loved ones), but it will get easier with time and practice.

4. Self-Isolation and Avoidance

Comparing yourself to others often leads to self-doubt and low self-esteem. We are all different, and we each have our strengths and weaknesses. There will always be someone better at something than you are, just as you will be better at some things than someone else. Be confident in your individuality and your own life journey. As long as you're doing your best and learning along the way, it is counterproductive to wish for someone else's reality. Chances are that you wouldn't be able to live with their weaknesses as they can, and the grass always looks greener on the other side. Focus on yourself, your life, and your journey.

In addition, avoid feeling inadequate or enamored by what others share on social media. Most of the time they only show what they want you to see. There are more hours in a day than moments captured in a photo or video. Everybody has their own struggles even if you can't see them.

Also, remember that other people's achievements shouldn't make you feel bad about your current status. Be happy for them and keep working on your own goals. There is peace and happiness in being content with yourself. There can only be one of you.

5. Continuously Using A Product That Doesn't Work For You Because It Works For Everyone Else.

Product reviews are important. They give you an insight into a product and tell you what to expect from an item you want to purchase and if it will suit your needs. However, bear in mind that everybody else's review matters only before you purchase the product. After purchase, the only review that should matter to you is yours.

Even if 5 million people love it, if it's not working for you, then it's not working for you.

Having a bad experience with a product everybody is raving about doesn't necessarily mean that the product itself is bad. Different things work for different people. So, if that wonder product is not looking to be your cup of tea, stop forcing yourself to love it. Drop it and find one that will work for you.

Conclusion: Love Yourselves, Ladies.

Dropping these habits may not occur overnight, but as long as you are aware of them and consciously try to love yourself more, you'll grow in your love for yourself. Love yourself, you truly, absolutely deserve it!


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